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What If Men Menstruated?

What If Men Menstruated?

I'm not sure why my odd (yet brilliant) brain decided to even think about this in the first place. I think it stemmed from the fact that things are not very fair when looking at annoying things we have to deal with in life due to our sex. I mean, think about it. Women have to grow breasts, menstruate on a monthly basis, be pregnant for 10 months (It's 42 weeks people), then go through menopause. Prior to full blown menopause we get to have peri-menopause and PMS at the same time, which is great fun If you like being so angry you want to punch everyone you see in the head.

Now I could get really specific because with pregnancy comes numerous nuances and the after-effects can be super fun as well (sneeze peeing, saggy breasts…), but I think I've made my point. Women have a lot to deal with and the worst men have is an occasional wet dream. Poor things. While you were waking up from your wet dream I was barfing in the toilet due to severe menstrual cramps. But hey, I hope that wet dream didn't surprise you too much. How scary for you. *extreme sarcasm*

The way I see it women have proven time and again how tough we are. I recently saw a picture on facebook of a female marathon runner pumping her breasts as she was running. I could never see a man doing that! Mostly because men don't have breasts or produce milk, but you get my point. Just the fact that we menstruate EVERY SINGLE MONTH and you never hear us complain, is quite extraordinary.

So what if Men menstruated every month? I think anyone that knows a man, knows that they tend to be babies when they are sick or hurt, or anything physiologically out of the ordinary is going on. So can you imagine how horrifying it would be for them to menstruate? First of all, I would just sit there and laugh for the whole week, but that's beside the point.

I think if men menstruated the government would pay for all of their tampons and pads as well as compensate for any stained man panties. In fact, the government would probably give them a huge tax deduction for menstruating as a reward and/or compensation for their troubles.There would be a law that all employers must give the man a full week off of work while menstruating. Some man menstruation union somewhere would also make sure that during that week the men must go to the bar every day or sit in a reclining chair at home watching sports all day. Instead of a red tent like the women get, the men get a bar.

Of course this is all in jest and good humor, but I'm pretty sure I'm spot on with my speculation. Maybe after reading this all you men out there can give a woman you know a hug and thank her for menstruating so you don't have to. You're welcome!.

With loving sarcasm,

Lisa Karen

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